S12 Ep3 Family Matters: Parents

In the third episode of this ‘Family Matters’ season, Simon and Bex discuss various financial matters that can arise from the interactions that we have with our parents, especially later on in life.

Some key points of interest covered in this episode include the following:

1. Simon and Bex start off by talking about the importance of establishing an updated, shared understanding when adult children and their parents discuss money matters. Pete Scazzero’s ‘Emotionally Healthy’ resources are very helpful in this respect, and our own season on ‘Talking About Money’ may also be of interest. [02:17]
2. It can be helpful for an adult child to consider how best to broach the topic of money with a parent as it can be an emotive subject, and the motivation for raising it can sometimes be called into question. For their part, parents can often make the situation easier if they are willing to take the initiative and introduce a conversation on a money theme. [03:38]
3. The principle of honouring and respecting our parents is crucial to this whole area, with the most desirable outcome being an ability to tackle issues collaboratively rather than combatively. [06:38]
4. It can be a complete nightmare if financial affairs are not left in order, so Simon suggests ways in which the necessary conversations and subsequent action points can be implemented in a timely and appropriate manner. [08:36]
5. In response to a question from Bex, Simon talks about the importance of sharing relevant information with at least one other person if others are going to be affected practically and financially by your death. [11:03]
6. For those wishing to find out more about legal matters such as wills and power of attorney, Bex draws attention to the input given by Fiona Clarke, a private client solicitor, when she appeared on Season 3 Bonus Episode 2 of the podcast. [12:27]
7. When it comes to the question of whether we have a definite responsibility to support our parents in financial matters, Simon suggests that the starting point should be to have an honest and open conversation about the situation and then see where that leads. [12:46]
8. Similarly, timely and thoughtful conversations with other family members are often required, for example when issues arise of how best to care for and support parents when they are ill or can no longer live independently. [15:47]
9. Simon then shares some thoughts on possible care scenarios, with Age UK being mentioned as a possible source of helpful information and advice. [18:21]
10. Bex and Simon conclude the episode by reiterating the importance of taking opportunities to have financial conversations with family members, not least because the sooner those chances are taken the more likely it is that there will be positive outcomes. [22:26]
11. Next week’s episode will expand the conversation to include financial matters that affect the wider family. [23:34]

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